Assassin’s Creed

raspberryblu

I saw this while browsing and had to share it (not my story).

‘I LOVE THIS STORY! _…umm could I have a character in this story please? She could be like Al Mulim’s great great granddaughter or something and her parents get killed so she had to go live at the castle place with him and he sees her potential to be an assasin or something? If yes then PM me and i’ll get you her info _’

Because an already infested MarySue fic needs your random granddaughter of the Grand Master to be doted upon by Altair. Right.

REASONS I DON’T READ FIC!!

Reading this made me want to just cry. Omg this is awful.

Suits/Dragon Riders of Pern

Oooh, that is a legitimate worry! And (according to my study on Dragonriders, the people of the holds had no were near the same feelings of sexual liberty as those in the Weyrs. So Mike could also have the issue of not feeling ok with not only sleeping with people randomly, but also if he has a weyrmate, that mate sleeping with other people!) I can’t wait for more!

Yeah

I know

That’s why I WROTE IT EXACTLY LIKE THAT!

Thanks for the fucking chapter recap dumb fuck.

Guuuuuuh /face desk

It’s reasons like this that makes me not want to keep writing fic /sssssiiiiiigh

Assassin’s Creed

raspberryblu

This is like a two part shenanigan, a review and a corresponding personal message I just received, quoted directly with only names edited out. I’ll post the personal message first;

Um, so i just read your story *ommited* and i was kind of upset because i was thinking of having a VERY similar idea for a story/plot. I’ve had this idea for a long time, and i’ve been meaning to write it, i just have to get my details down and onto paper.
Anyway, i’ve had this idea for a really long time, so i was wondering if you could remove your story, since it’s kinda like my idea? :( i’m sorry, but i have a lot invested into my plot and i don’t want to have someone else steal it from me!

I then noticed they had (anonymously) reviewed my story. I deleted it because it was complete and offensive BS, but I saved it to post along here:

hey i just sent you a message, please reply soon. PS to new readers, this is my idea, please don’t send this story any more reviews or support, thx.

Okay, firstly, there is only one chapter of my fic up. The defining point of the plot hasn’t even been fully revealed. This person’s idea could be, and probably is, completely different than mine. And even if it wasn’t, why would I remove my hard work for them, when they have no legitimate claim to it? They haven’t posted the idea anywhere, they haven’t told anyone about it, it’s not like I went into their brain and stole it.

My first fanfiction ever posted and I get shit like this not even two days later. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. >:[

I… might have just vomited in my mouth a little bit. Omg this is gross. I hope your reply to them pretty much went “lol no. Btw suck my dick and write your own damn story and leave me alone.”

Assassin’s Creed

*checks clock* .. Well, I don’t leave for work for another two hours..

*starts reading*

Assassin’s Creed

I am gessing that chapter 2 to 7 are what happened to put Desmond in Altair’s bed, and chapter 1 is him waking up.

Assassin’s Creed

This isn’t a review but omfg… omfg

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a favor for me? I would like to write a fanfiction on Assassins Creed, but I don’t know a lot about it and don’t know some information. And the only character’s I pretty much know are Altair and Malik. And I’ve read some of the stories you’ve wrote and your really good. I was wondering if you could write my story for me? If you say no I understand and if you say yes just pm me and I’ll give you a lot more details. But if you wanna know what the story is about before you make your desicion I’ll be glad to give you all the information. Thanks!

This was a message I got, and this is what I sent back

I’m glad that you like my work but… I don’t quite get what sort of fantasy land you live in. You’re asking me to take time to write a story I have never heard of and probably don’t care about for free. For Free? 

Look kid, and yeah I know you’re a kid because only a kid would ask this (and that was beside the fact that you say it on your profile), I’m going to give you some free advice instead, because you could probably use it. Asking this sort of stuff is not okay, on top of being insanely rude and disrespectful to a story teller who, if you notice, is also asking for commissions and who you don’t know. It’s like walking you to someone you don’t know and saying, “Hi, can you give me five dollars?”

So no, I’m not going to write your fanfiction for you. Write it yourself. Do the research, do the leg work. Or, you know, if you really want me to write your fanfiction then do what everyone else does who wants me to write something for them, right now: pay for it.

-X

Assassin’s Creed

aw, its all about straight guys D’: when i read the description, i expected desmond x shaun ; n;

I literally just got this. Omg, this is just…

AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Because, you know, there are no strait guys in fanfictions, and guys can’t hang out and be strait.

Assassin’s Creed

So, while this particular chapter wasn’t the most engaging, I get that you needed to put it there to move things along. However, I totally love your style and the way you portray Altaïr, Malik, and Ezio. In AU fics, sometimes it’s pretty easy for people to get a little OC, but you’ve kept them in character quite well so far :)

Ok, one thing I wanna point out though that’s kind of nitpicky, but I think will be really helpful in keeping the Assassin’s Creed feel. It’s bonkers to try to type the funky double-dotted “ï” into “Altaïr” every time, BUT (you might have used this for other stuff before, but I thought I’d recommend it for this situation) in a word document, if you hold Ctrl+F and then switch from the “Find” tab to the “Replace” tab, you can type “Altair” (with the normal i) into the “Find what” box, and then paste “Altaïr” (with the crazy double-dot ï) into the “Replace with” box. Then, if you click the “Replace all” button at the bottom of the window, and voilà, all of your Altairs are now Altaïrs!

Eagerly waiting for the next chapter!

Assassin’s Creed

… I cried… you, my friend have an amazing, natural talent. How you manage to put such strong emotions into words is simply beyond my understanding. I applaud you, my good author!

So this is another review that is dumb in a way that isn’t obvious at first. Really it’s more subtly insulting in a way that I’m sure the reviewer never intended it to be. But really, like any artist, it’s kinda of insulting to call someone a natural anything.

Really I’ve put over a decade of toil and hard work into being able to write the way I do. To say it’s a ‘natural talent’ is basically saying that I just started like this and can thus just shit out high quality work the way that I do at will. Calling someone naturally gifted isn’t a compliment because it puts down all their hard work they’ve ever done and all the struggle they’ve gone through to get to this current point!

Assassin’s Creed

Crappy Review Alert:  

Great chapter! Thank you for writing it! As always you are amazing at this!  

This guy leaves reviews like this a lot.

I don’t… really understand why.

Are you trying to endear me to you by saying you’re a shitty reviewer when really you’re one of my more sane commenters?

I don’t understand his logic really and I kinda miss his reviews.

Still, dumb fic review because… NEVER say your review is crappy. Sure it might be, but don’t be self deprecating, it’s bad form.